Come Q1 2025, we’re switching to a new registered trademark fully.

But for now, enjoy some hints at what’s to come!

All by Me

Construction by Curtis

Shares by Curtis

Der Scuttled Missile Off To Bedtime

Beans and Bacon by Curtis

Curtis®

The Raging Potroast

Curtis Methamphetamine

Faster Than A Laser

We’re also rolling out new products.

Curtis Colognes and Fragrances, Curtis Suits and so on will be available when it’s time to do so.

Welcome!

This website serves as my portfolio. This is my space on the web to showcase my work, as well as inform you of what I am currently doing, or involved in.

At Curtis Parker McCarthy Association of America, I manage my entity via my brand recognition structure. This website houses my potential business ventures, instructs and informs partners, or friends and family, you, and even helps you contact me!

I am a professional businessman, entrepreneur, and also doctor and more. I run my corporation to control all my interests, and also to make them plainly available. We at Curtis have such amazing things for you as Cool Investments Group, which takes in investments, or donations, and uses them to accomplish goals.

This goal-oriented thinking shows that we are a powerhouse that can also partner with you to provide you with a cool investment group. Lemonade Marketing Co. is my second paradigm, to protect and serve, as I one day want to become President of the United States of America. My father and also step-father are valued businessmen, though one is dead and the other has moved companies, and my mother is an LCPC, and also internet or tele health provider. My other family members are lawyers, and even business people themselves. We are all athletes, except maybe my father and mother, who instead focused on agile marketing and performance ventures.

I myself am an award-winning athlete, and also scholastic champion and black-belt holder. I also won at place in life department, as I got to be both President Joe Biden’s brother, and also former president Donald Trump’s nephew, and sometimes father. They respect me as a business leader, and also your cool investments group President. I have increasing job responsibilities of over 35 years, from managing a small business, to now owning a corporation and corporations, and marketing to millions, perhaps trillions of people. We do this on the web, and in person, and as agile marketers and office workers, we also operate in new markets like aerospace and neuroscience.

What we do here is epic!

Update 144AM

7524

New April

Go to Our Blog not Blog to comment here on the website!
Something Awful doesn’t have this!

This made it tasty however!

324 7524

Added a new book to the shop, Still Decay.

Books updated + website.

More!

Write me at cmccarthycool@gmail.com to see what we’re offering!
Ask!
Ask us to post content!
Donate to us to get what you want!

DISCLAIMER

Please note that our website is currently under construction, and some parts of it are not yet finished to the degree that we intend for them to be once they are finished. Some bits and pieces here and there effect functionality, but this has been painstakingly documented, so if you do find something that doesn’t work as you expect, or you have a question, comment, or a suggestion, or another specific inquiry or other type of communication desire to respectfully disclose to us with the promise that your privacy is our number one concern, we thank you for your patience as we finish developing our website.

All the information here is guaranteed accurate and all of the systems should work fine, but some things like hotlinking and our encyclopedia and heavily-coded sections are not done yet. The slated timeframe for them to be finished is Q4 2024, as we do not have a coder yet and I, the owner of the website, and administrator as well as only writer and content provider, as well as all other roles like web developer, website builder, programmer and coder, and even video maker, editor and more, as well as artist, graphic designer, and brand manager am the only one working and authorized to work on this entity at the present point we are at in our business venture.

We are also working on co-creating other things like businesses and ventures, and opportunities for you to pursue. We hope that you continue to support us as you have done so for so long and donate to us as well! All donations go to maintaining this website, unless you leave us a message detailing what you want us to do with your donations. We don’t disclose any info that may contain sensitive data, so you can be sure your privacy and rights are protected. We also do not provide personal details, except where we have approved such efforts to close the distance, as I currently do not have a business email set up I want to use. Gmail is what I use currently and I do have private ones, and even .edu email addresses I own the server’s for and all content on it, but they are not currently being used because we have gone ahead with this retro-style website in favor of it’s form, and though unwieldy and to be completely blunt workable but Squarespace-y design-and-function combo (Squarespace, you suck >:[), called “shit” by many Squarespace and blunt users, though not all AFAIK, but it does work as intended.

Kinda. And it works as a marketing platform. So that part of our main corporation entity ©CURTIS is functional.

And all inquiries you send are encrypted and will be viewed only by people who care about your privacy and rights and will protect them, unlike monkey’s, who we squint at and also do not trust to code a thing because we have tried that, and they did not do the job, even with banana chips as NASA has taught us to try to use to console them of their inferiority. STUPID MONKEY’S!!!!!! Why do you not code for me you filthy apes!?!?!?!?!? I want off this planet at once! Oh, my aching arteries and chips and bad back problems flare up all the time now.

So, anyway.

What doesn’t currently work and you don’t need to bug me about it and requires this big disclaimer, which I’m not sure if it is centered correctly as mashing space to check was not really what I wanted to do over just finish the damn website. So the first thing is feel free to measure if the disclaimer is in the center up there, and tell me if it isn’t. I can move it to the right and left with deleting and spacing it forwards, but not anywhere else, as that wasn’t what I intended, just to get it centered.

It is so basically almost completely perfectly and that is the only thing I left up there uncertain.

I am certain I wanted it that way, and it is perfect and the best and good. But the location of that disclaimer text is not important, everything else is.

Like the encyclopedia page I wanted but is a complete headache to make on Squarespace.

It has like a little coding insert thing but it’s not really all that I wanted.

Which was a “Make It Good” button or function or something.

That’s me! You can hire me for website design as well and this doesn’t show what I can do, it is just my most basic and being updated portfolio and corporate website.

You can buy franchises here, contract with us, become a partner, get hired or volunteer with us, though a complete opportunities page is still being worked on and we are not at that phase of the project yet. We aim to finish this website quite soon, but it takes time and it is a big project. When it is done it will be the best website ever, but right now is just pretty good to me.

The encyclopedia function we envision is a middle ground between finished and what we want. The encyclopedia will allow you to highlight terms and also get direct info, and is able to immediately get you in contact with us, or buy and sell things from the browser you are using, without needing you to go to another webpage.

We also do not have a swear filter on, and so this website while it has no age range, should not be viewed by stupid children under the age of influence.

I personally do not endorse anything on this website, or anywhere else, or anything else, and agree solely to belittle you and cause you harm, such as stealing your money and using it to buy prostitutes. You fuck pigs, I do not, so also our copyright information is not loudly displayed down below just as of yet for a nuisance I feel is worth mentioning. Anyway! Pak chooie unf, meatbags! ©CURTIS ‘24 ALL RIGHTS FRIGGING RESERVED *We do not diagnose, proclaim to know the law or practice it, or promote any product, entity or discussion. If we have implemented our forums, then they are completely separate from us and in the interest of freedom and free speech and the Joe Biden administration funding our apocalypse, please do not mind those very sad people therein contained in the wormhole space. They are transgendered and in need of spankings, not your hateful, hateful prose and indoctrination speeches about panties, and fiscally sound political objectives like drinking water, and animal feces (not faeces that’d be all fine and dandy to work those into your speeches eh conservative republicans?) over children’s futures and my middle finger ending this sentence with a HAYMAKER PUNCH.

Haymaker Punch Productions is my production company, and also not listed on my webpage as of yet.

It is however trading and you may donate, invest, buy shares and futures in the company, and it is also a legitimate business venture of mine.

I recommend you fund it! You’ll get such awesome movies as Thumb Wars Infinity and the Haymaker Punch martial-arts opera I envisioned as opening a can of whup-ass on Cannes every fucking film festival day the ding-dong whole time it’s existed. Elon Musk and SpaceX are in no way affiliated with us or do we proclaim to be them, but somehow people started claiming that I own SpaceX and I wish I did, can’t say I really do, don’t no, I don’t think so.

Just putting that to rest.

I have a better company.

I will say that SpaceX is free to partner with us and buy our shares, market with us and so on and so forth, but see? Maybe not even the links work! (They should. Email me if they don’t!)